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How to Improve Adolescent Self Esteem
How to improve adolescent self esteem is a matter that require serious care and caution. The reason behind this is because you cannot really over predict how an adolescent will react or respond to a matter. Therefore, anything whatsoever it may be that can do the slightest dent or damage to the self esteem of an adolescent has to be handled with great care and caution.
There are cases where after a little fight with a father or one of the parent, an adolescent may go ahead and do some crazy act that will be so destructive you will even wonder why it had to come to that. It is just the way it is. This is a very sensitive matter that require optimum attention when dealing with it.
To begin with, everything must be done to make it sure that no attempt is made to deliberately deflate or reduce the self esteem of an adolescent. It usually lead to depression which can be another major issue to deal with.
Finding a means to improve the self esteem of an adolescent is enough a goal in itself than to add their depression on top of it.
Because they are still figuring out how everything within their body system works, it is a risky place to be if any action leads to them feeling isolated, unloved or rejected. We all love to be loved, accepted and integrated into a community and simply because we are all wired to operate and function that way.
That brings us to one of the most useful ways to improve an adolescent’s self esteem. The social relationships of an adolescent is a very important part of their self esteem. Their personal emotions and reactions can sometimes be as a result of their level of involvement in social relationships around or about them.
When an adolescent is withdrawn or isolated from a community to which they are expected to have belonged to, it may be one of the greatest blow they will be dealing with when it comes to their self esteem rating. They may be feeling so low and rejected that it can lead to other causes like depression as earlier mentioned and that will be a damaging experience in general.
How to improve adolescent self esteem surely involve the need to get the person affected integrated into a community where they are accepted and socially responsible and active. Their social relationships have to be healthy and a happy one too so that they can feel accepted, part of a cause that is bigger than them and important. Once this is happening and the adolescent understand it too, their self esteem will be improved.
It is hoped that this information have been helpful and in order to enjoy more of the methods that can be used to improve adolescent self esteem, make every effort to get in touch with us today. Thank you for your most precious time reading this.
Categories: Self Improvement Tags: Adolescent, Ahead, Attempt, Lead, Leads, Love, Risky Place, Sensitive Matter, Social Relationships, Unloved
Biology – Characteristics of Fish – An Introduction
Fish are vertebrate animals, that is, they all have a vertebral column or ‘spine’. There are two main groups of fish, bony fish (Teleosts) and cartilaginous fish (Elasmobranchs). As the common names imply, the skeletons of teleosts are made of bone while the elasmobranchs have cartilaginous skeletons. The elasmobranchs comprise sharks, rays and dogfish which differ from teleosts in many respects. The teleosts are far more numerous, with a greater diversity of species than the elasmobranchs.
All fish are aquatic and breath by absorbing dissolved oxygen in the water using their gills. The bodies of both teleosts and elasmobranchs are covered with scales but those of elasmobranchs are spiky and project through the skin. This makes the skin feel very rough, like coarse sandpaper. The scales of the teleosts have a flattened, discoid shape and are covered by a thin layer of skin and mucus which probably reduces friction between the body and the surrounding water and makes them very slippery.
The swimming mechanism in both groups is very similar. A series of muscular contractions pass down each side of the fish alternately bending it from side to side and pushing backwards and sideways against the water. The water resistance exerts an opposite sideways and forward force on the fish. The sideways forces cancel each other but the forward force propels the fish forward. In both groups there are variations in this method of propulsion. Skates and rays make undulatory movements in the vertical plane as do flatfish like plaice. Some teleosts, such as the sea horse, propel themselves by undulatory movements of their dorsal fin.
In general, the fins contribute to stability and steering rather than propulsion. The median fins, dorsal and ventral, reduce the sideways thrust of the swimming movements and also reduce the tendency to roll from side to side. The paired fins help to steer the fish upwards or downwards through the water and contribute to turning and braking. The paired fins of elasmobranches are held in rather rigid positions while those of teleosts, with their flexible jointing to the body, are more versatile in their movements and can often be seen moving gently to keep the fish in a steady position.
In the teleosts, there is a swim bladder. An elongated, air-filled sac just below the vertebral column. This air bladder keeps the fish buoyant and prevents it from sinking when it stops swimming. The volume of the air bladder can be adjusted to compensate for changes in pressure at different depths. The elasmobranchs do not have swim bladders and so they start to sink if they stop swimming.
Although water is H2O, aquatic creatures cannot use the oxygen from this. The oxygen they breathe comes from the air which has dissolved in the water. There are four or five pairs of gills situated inside the mouth cavity. In teleosts, they are covered on the outside by a bony plate called the operculum. By movements of the floor of the mouth and operculum, the fish creates, a current of water which passes over its gills. Water is taken in through the mouth and expelled through the operculum in the case of teleosts, and out through separate gill slits in elasmobranchs. The gills are, in effect, finely branched, thin-walled blood vessels which, because of their multiple branches, expose an enormous surface to the water and so facilitate absorption of oxygen and loss of carbon dioxide.
Categories: Reference And Education Tags: Bony Fish, Discoid Shape, Elasmobranchs, Mucus, Muscular Contractions, Sea Horse, Skeletons, Teleosts, Thin Layer, Vertical Plane
Biology Degrees – What Careers Options Are Available?
Deciding on a college major can be a major undertaking. There are many interesting subjects to choose from. One career that is becoming more and more popular is biology. So, if you are considering earning a biology degree, it is good to start with what career options are available upon graduation.
Research – Research biologists are responsible for using the latest scientific tools to study nature and determine how living things work. Many biologists enter the medical field and work on developing medicines to cure many diseases.
Environmental Management – These positions involve solving environmental problems and working on conservation. Many biologists find employment in forestry, zoos, and with special interest groups.
Forensic Biology – This career is really starting to grow. Forensic biologists work with law enforcement agencies to discover and process evidence in relation to solving crimes. They may also be called upon to testify during criminal trials.
Politics – This career path may seem strange on the surface. However, many biologists work with lawmakers as advisors. Using science, they help to create new legislation on things like environmental protection and conservation.
Math – Bioinformatics is a new career field for biologists. It combines biology and math to solve biological problems and issues. They create different models and projections, which require a good understanding of math and statistics.
Pursuing a career in biology can be a challenging and rewarding experience. Be certain to examine your career goals and aspirations prior to entering a program. This will ensure you enroll in the program that will best suit your needs.
Categories: Reference And Education Tags: Biology Degree, Career Options, Career Path, Criminal Trials, Forensic Biology, Good Understanding, Interesting Subjects, Law Enforcement Agencies, Medical Field, New Legislation
Tips On Handling Adolescent Care Issues
One of the hardest, and most emotional periods in parenting are the adolescent care years, from the time your child reaches their pre-teen years and throughout their teen years. This is the time when their bodies begin to change, their tastes change, they discover what attracts them to others and they discover just how cruel the world can sometimes be. This will be a roller coaster time for everyone involved, and this is the time that they will need you the most, even if they will not willingly admit it.
From Pediatrician to the “Alone” Doctor
The first sign that your child is reaching the adolescent care stage is the realization that they do not need you with them at their doctor visits any more. Once they reach the age of 12, they will need a new level of medical care, far beyond just tracking their development and ensuring that they are healthy. Now is the time that they will have questions for the doctor that they may not want you to hear.
The doctor, too, may want to be able to examine your child and ask his own questions without mom hovering over it all. At this point in their lives, they need to be comfortable asking any questions they may have about puberty, depression, sex, drugs, tobacco, alcohol and birth control. Your doctor will want to evaluate their physical and mental health, whether they are having any trouble in school, and whether they feel pressured to do things that they do not want to by their friends. The only way to get honest answers is to make your child feel comfortable talking alone with them, and if there are issues, the doctor will discuss them with you later.
Keeping Diet And Obesity in Check
Starting now, it is all going to be about appearances between your child and their peers. Children can be some of the cruelest creatures on the face of this planet, and it only gets worse into the preteen and teenage years. Obesity, diet, skin care, acne, hygiene, dress and self-esteem suddenly become the high voltage issues of the day. Your job, as a parent, is to keep a level head, attitude and anger in check, and teach them as best as you can on how to do things properly.
Explain to them how good skin care habits and hygiene will help them to look their best. Explain how what they eat can affect the way they look, especially when it comes to their weight and how it can affect whether they develop acne or not. This will probably lead in, at some point, into discussions of attraction between the sexes, peer pressure, drugs, alcohol and sex. Best advice we can give is to speak from the heart, and relate to them as best you can from experience.
Keeping Stress at Bay
It is important that children be socialized, participate in sports and other activities that build their self-esteem but there is a limit to everything. A growing problem, especially among teens, is over-scheduling. This can lead to your teen being stressed out, anxious and feeling pressured to succeed. Monitor their activities and be ready to act if it looks like they have taken on too much for them to handle. Praise them for their drive, but remind them that they need to think of themselves first, and their health.
Avoiding Depression
Another growing issue that parents should be aware of is teen depression. Every parent should educate themselves on the symptoms of depression: mood swings, no longer taking pleasure in things they have always enjoyed, weight loss or gain, chronic insomnia or long periods of sleeping, feelings of hopelessness or guilt, lack of concentration and a fascination with morbid subjects like death and suicide.
When it comes to this issue of adolescent care, keeping communication lines open is very important. Encourage your child to talk openly about what is troubling them, try to keep them involved in daily activities, and it may be time to consider trying counseling. Do your best to comfort, reach out, and offer your own counsel at such times. Seek advice from your family doctor, and encourage your child to talk with them as well.
Categories: Home And Family Tags: High Voltage, Medical Care, Mental Health, Pediatrician, Puberty, Realization, Roller Coaster, Self Esteem, Skin Care, Teen Years
Best Day to Submit Your Self Help and Motivational Category Articles is Monday
If you are an inspirational online article writer, or if you work in the self-help venue then chances are you are someone who likes to help people get through their problems. Well then, I have some information that I believe will help you, help them, and help more of your potential clients faster. You see, our society and population is overstressed, and therefore, they could use a little pick me up.
According to an article in the Wall Street Journal on Saturday-Sunday April 23-24, 2011 titled “The Really Smart Phone – Researchers are Harvesting a Wealth of Intimate Detail from Our Cellphone Data, Uncovering the Hidden Patterns of Our Social Lives, Travels, Risk of Disease – Even Our Political Views” by Robert Lee Hotz; apparently, after analyzing cellphone data it turns out that social scientists have learned that the most unhappiest time of the Week is Tuesday in the Western World.
Therefore, an online article writer should be writing their self-help and motivational type articles over the weekend and posting them on Monday so they are approved, and posted by Tuesday, as the search engine spiders find them and puts them in their data bases. Over the last two years I have been writing various articles in the motivational and self-help categories trying to figure out which articles are most pleasing to the human psyche, which articles get read most, and which articles help boost an individual’s self-esteem.
It turns out, that I can verify that more articles get read on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the self-help category than at any other time during the week. This is because people are stressed out and still looking at a long week ahead, and often negative thoughts will permeate their self talk. Okay so, it makes sense the information in that Wall Street Journal article. Not only that, but it appears to be true in the United States, Europe, and Canada.
On non-holiday weeks the same goes for the Australian population, and I say non-holiday weeks because Australia have quite a few more holidays and three-day weekends than they do in the United States for instance. Another thing that I have noticed is that there are so many people who are self-proclaimed self-help gurus, and personal coaches these days that the online venue for motivational articles is completely saturated.
Therefore, it might make sense to post self-help articles early in the morning on Monday, so they are ready to be viewed by folks that could use a little positive influence in their life on their most stressful day; Tuesday. Indeed, hope you will please consider all this and think on it.
Categories: Self Improvement Tags: Article Writer, Australian Population, Data Bases, Hidden Patterns, Holiday Weeks, Intimate Detail, Political Views, Saturday Sunday, Street Journal Article, Type Articles
Inspirational Leaders Are Masters of Appreciation
They Know How To Focus On Blessings
It was a hot, muggy night years ago, and we were rehearsing a professional “workshop” musical in a long-vacant warehouse building in Denver. It was that phase of the rehearsal period in which we had to go over the crowd scenes – nobody’s favorite part. You stand around in clusters for hours, waiting for instructions, waiting for each scene’s principal performers to “get it” to the director’s satisfaction. That night, as even pro actors often do, we started acting like children.
The kids you went to school with who grew up to be musical theatre performers, well, those kids were the funniest, most clever, most creative kids in your school. They did voices. They did awesome impressions. They made up great jokes on-the-spot, with lightning-fast wit, wonderful timing, and impeccable delivery. In short, they were very entertaining. And by the time they’d become adults, they’d honed their ability to entertain to a fine art, learning in great measure by practicing on each other.
So you can imagine what it’s like when you get, say, 20 or 30 of these folks together in a sweaty warehouse, standing around in clusters, bored. You’re supposed to be quiet, but that just adds another layer of challenge. How quietly can I crack up the other people in my group? How hard can I laugh without making any noise?
I was part of the problem that evening, more than I was part of the solution. During the scenes in which I was one of the principals, I took care of business, got my movements and instructions down, and tried as best I could to facilitate the group’s opportunity to move on to the next scene. But in scenes during which I was just a “villager,” another face in the onstage crowd, I joined right in with the misbehavior. What began as whispering soon became quiet speaking, accompanied by some laughing, then more loud laughing, and finally the din in that hall was deafening.
You see, it didn’t matter to any of us that the producers had invested their life savings in us, and in the workshop of this world-premier show. It didn’t matter how much it had cost them to rent this lousy rehearsal space, hire the musicians to accompany us, dress us in elaborate costumes, or even how much they’d agreed to pay us. We wanted to get the boring stuff over with and get out of there (possibly moving our shenanigans to a nearby watering hole for after-rehearsal food and drink). We were, to varying degrees but to some extent all of us, in it for our own personal amusement.
The producers had even hired and flown out from New York, at no small expense, a “real” Broadway director to lead us. Funny, but none of us were all that impressed with David when we first met him. He was our age, pretty much, with long hair and a very casual sense of dress. This guy was the world-class directing talent we’d heard so much about? He looked like what he was: another actor, another overgrown child, just like the rest of us. But by the end of our first week in his production, every one of us had come to respect David as a consummate pro, and certainly by the evening of crowd scenes we admired him greatly.
David was a true inspirational leader, and the way he handled our tomfoolery on crowd scene night was a perfect example of how he used his appreciation (and his ability to bring a sense of appreciation out of each of us) as a central tool in his leadership arsenal.
As I recall, we were working one of my principal scenes, so for the moment I was feeling kinda self-righteous in the knowledge that other people were acting up more than I was. David was giving instructions, never raising his volume louder than a moderate speaking voice. At one point, when it finally became too loud to hear him, and he tired of repeating himself, he just smiled and stopped talking. He looked around the room, like an elementary teacher does, waiting for the chatter to cease.
“Oh boy,” I remember thinking, “Now we’re gonna get it. He’s gonna lose his cool and yell at us.” This was probably what all of us expected, since every other director with whom we’d ever worked has a little breakdown – usually right around that crowd-scene point in the rehearsal schedule – and yells at the cast. We started to hang our heads in anticipatory shame.
But David’s voice was soft, clear, and even upbeat.
“I know,” he said, “I know. This is boring. I mean, who doesn’t hate crowd-scene rehearsals? I think I hate it more than anyone. In fact, if a director dies and goes to Hell, I’m sure he is told he’s to direct ‘An Evening Of Crowd Scenes’ for all eternity.”
We laughed. Like us, David was very entertaining when he wanted to be.
“So look, I’m not gonna yell at you. I just want to remind you of one thing. We had auditions for this workshop about three weeks ago, and we got about three thousand resumes, and then we heard about 300 people read and sing for the parts you all have.”
We all got very still… he had our undivided attention. Every one of us, I’m sure, was remembering the stress of the audition process for this prestigious production, and the exhilaration of being cast.
“Also, you may not know this, but they interviewed a lot of directors before I was lucky enough to get this gig, and come out here, and enjoy this wonderful city and these beautiful mountains, and all that.”
You could see us shifting our weight from foot to foot, listening intently.
“So there are, I don’t know, a couple dozen REALLY good directors out there who would love to be running this rehearsal right now, crowd scenes and all, but they don’t get to do it, because I’m the one who got the job.
“And it also means that for every crowd scene, for every costume change, for every time you have to move a set piece or keep track of a prop, there are at least a hundred good actors out there who’d love to have the privilege of doing that costume change or moving that set piece… or even standing through this boring rehearsal… but they don’t get to do it. Those hundred people don’t get to do it, because we chose you to do it. And you practically begged us to choose you.”
David let about ten seconds of silence go by.
“So, are we a lucky bunch, or what? We’re very blessed, very privileged, and let’s none of us ever forget it.”
After about ten more silent seconds, David repeated his last instruction to the principals, and the rehearsal moved on. And from that point forward, it was the most efficient, most brief, most “professional” crowd scene rehearsal I remember ever taking part in.
It’s funny; as I write this, I can hear my more cynical side claiming we’d been manipulated by a skilled communicator that evening. But I sure don’t remember feeling manipulated at the time, nor did I ever hear one of my colleagues say anything about David’s brief speech but that it blew them away. It was a good reminder, and everyone in the room – including David himself – needed it at just that moment.
I remember that story often when I’m coaching talented business leaders. It’s easy to forget how fortunate you are to have the position you have, and sometimes you need to stop for ten silent seconds and just remember how you felt when you landed this job. How many other good leaders would love to have the chance to put up with the parts of your job you don’t like… but don’t have that opportunity because you have it instead?
Whatever you might find yourself griping about, even if it’s just simple boredom, you live in an age in which you can change it. If you live in the United States, you are even more fortunate to live in a free country where you have even greater opportunities. Think about it… if you hate your job, you can change it. You can even start your own business, and replace your income working at home (I did). If you hate your body, you can change it by going on a “health kick” and developing a few simple habits to give yourself more energy and vitality. If you don’t like your government, you can change it at the ballot box.
Don’t get sucked into the cynical, mean-spirited misbehavior of your own personal crowd scene. Remember that you have a lot of good stuff of which you should be appreciative, and that whatever bad stuff you have to endure, if you really want to, you can change it. Take personal responsibility, and stand out from the crowd.
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
Categories: Self Improvement Tags: Creative Kids, Fine Art, Impressions, Principal Performers, Pro Actors, Prod, Rehearsal Period, Those Kids, Villager, Wit
Self Help, Self Reflection Through Awareness and Meditative Introspection
Before you can start down the path of self improvement, you need to know your current state of mind. The best way to assess your thought process and mental state of being is through introspection. Choose a quiet time when you are by yourself and will not be interrupted for at least 30 minutes. The location should be comfortable, safe and secure. Be certain that you feel at ease. Set a pleasing ambiance, soft music, scented candles or what ever you prefer. Relax and ask yourself the questions.
The key is to be completely honest and objective with yourself. You want to examine your thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Become aware of your strong and weak points. Search out and identify the sources of negativity. Discover your inner feelings and their causes. As you go through these questions, you may want to write your answers down so that you can read over them when you are finished. Look to see if you have given similar answer to different questions. If so, you will want to examine those answers to see if these are areas which need improvement.
Write your answers down, so that you will have the ability to look back at them over time. You need to do your self reflection several times a year. Each time write your answers down and then compare them to previous sessions. This way you can track the progression of your improvement.
Through continual effort, self introspection and the use of positive words in your thoughts you can reach an awakened state of mind. When you achieve this awakened state, you have the ability to transcend your current state and obtain a higher plateau of awakened consciousness.
The tools needed to reach this awakened state of mind are available. You just have to know where to look. The best investment that you will ever make is an investment in yourself. Investing in yourself is worth the time and cost. The reward is priceless.
Categories: Self Improvement Tags: 30 Minutes, Continual Effort, Inner Feelings, Plateau, Quiet Time, Scented Candles, Self Awareness, Self Improvement, Several Times, Thought Process
Adolescent and Adult Cloth Diapers
We live in a world where virtually anything we need to know or want to have is available at our fingertips, thanks to the Internet. Just as you are discovering now, there are tons of advice columns and advertisements of cloth diapers, both for adults and children who have problems wetting the bed. Thankfully you can now get the most for your money and invest in cloth options that are quality and more affordable than ever thanks to online resources.
Adult cloth diapers are important to many people who are looking to save a little money, or put that money towards something they actually enjoy doing. This is completely understandable, but many people are under the impression that a cloth option is messy and less reliable. While the past might qualify that, there are now options where you can insert liners, or custom order your adult cloth diapers to fit just the way your body is shaped to ensure there is no leakage throughout your day. These save money because they can be reused, and they are also less bulky and noisy if you find that you are self conscious of your incontinence. You might be surprised at how well you mesh with the cloth option, and until you try it you just never know. While you are experimenting with different products and brands, do not fail to give child and adult cloth diapers a shot. The money that you will be saving yourself could be spend on things that you love doing or saved for places that you want to see and experience. Thanks to modern developments there was never a better time than now to explore the cloth options for incontinence of all ages.
Categories: Home And Family Tags: Adult Cloth Diapers, Adult Diapers, Advice Columns, Different Products, Fingertips, Incontinence, Invest, Messy, Money, Options
Biology – Characteristics of Insects – An Introduction
There are about a million species of insect and many more yet to be discovered. They include, for example, ants, bees, wasps, beetles, butterflies, dragonflies and fleas. They range in size from microscopic soil-dwelling insects to large beetles and butterflies but they all share certain common features.
Their bodies are divided into about 20 segments which are grouped into the head (6 fused segments), the thorax (3 segments) and the abdomen (11 segments). All insects have an exoskeleton consisting of a firm cuticle.
The head bears sensory organs and mouthparts. There is a pair of antennae which are sensitive to touch and to smell. There is also a pair of compound eyes made up of hundreds of separate lenses and sensory cells. These can detect light, movement and colour and can form crude images of shapes. In bees and butterflies these senses allow the insect to find sources of nectar in flowers by their colour, shape and smell.
There are three sets of mouthparts carried externally on the head. A pair of mandibles (jaws) bites off portions of food and passes them into the mouth. A pair of maxillae help taste and manipulate the food and the labium (lower ‘lip’) has a variety of functions depending on the species of insect.
All insects have three pairs of legs, one pair on each thoracic segment. There are five sections to each leg with joints between each section which give the leg the ability to move in different directions. The exoskeleton at the joints consists of a flexible cuticle which allow freedom of movement.
Also on each of the second and third segments of the thorax there is, typically, a pair of wings though in some insects (e.g. flies and mosquitoes) these may be reduced to one pair and a number of species have no wings at all.
In the mature insect the abdomen carries no appendages other than some apparatus on the final segment to assist with egg-laying.
The firm exoskeleton supports the insect, maintains its shape and protects it from damage and from evaporation. The rigid exoskeleton prevents insects from growing in a continuous manner and growth takes place in spurts. The outer layer of cuticle is shed and the insect expands its body until the new layer of cuticle forms and hardens. This moulting process (or ecdysis) takes place 5 times or more until the mature insect appears, after which there is no further growth or ecdysis.
The intermittent growth takes place in the larval or nymphal stages of an insect’s life cycle. Insects such as butterflies or bees, which exhibit complete metamorphosis, have larval stages quite unlike the adult e.g. fly maggots or butterfly caterpillars. The penultimate moult results in a quiescent stage, the pupa, in which the adult features are formed. The final moult reveals the mature insect.
In insects such as the cockroach or grasshopper, which have incomplete metamorphosis, the early stages are called nymphs and they closely resemble the adult except that their wings have not formed. Small changes of form take place at each ecdysis until the mature winged insect emerges.
Categories: Reference And Education Tags: Bees And Butterflies, Compound Eyes, Final Segment, Freedom Of Movement, Insects Beetles, Mature Insect, Pair Of Wings, Sensory Cells, Sensory Organs, Wasps
Healing Arts – the Most Revealing Interview of Ram Dass You’ll Ever Read
At wits end about any number of my personal life dysfunctions, one Friday night I decided to go see a video at Maui Booksellers, a tiny little bookstore in Wailuku, on Maui. That night, they were showing a movie called Fierce Grace, a documentary about Ram Dass, an icon of American spirituality for my generation, the Baby-Boomers.
With about 10 people in the store and about a half-hour before show time, the door opens and a wheelchair comes through. In the wheelchair sits Ram Dass himself, followed by just three people who weren’t so much attending to him as being with him.
The owners of the bookstore, obviously honored by his unplanned presence, graciously welcomed him and introduced themselves and then left their guest to their patrons. I wasn’t surprised to see only a couple of people approach him; I barely knew what to do or what I wanted to do.
But what did startle me was the degree of veneration that they bestowed on him. It was as if an other-than-human had entered the room.
Now Ram Dass, to me, has always been one of the most wondrous of human beings. Some people, like The Beatles, for example, are the embodiment of what those of their generation are experiencing. The Beatles put the experience to music, while Ram Dass placed the experience into a spiritual context. And yet, by his words and actions, he stayed completely human in the doing.
In the 1960s, as Richard Alpert, a professor at Harvard, he and his colleague, Timothy Leary, were fired from their positions for experiments with psychedelics that involved students. Whereas Leary went on to greater depths of psychedelia, Alpert went to India where he met his Guru. He came back as Baba Ram Dass (Servant of God).
Since then, as the author of such seminal books as Be Here Now, Grist for the Mill,The Only Dance There Is, Miracle of Love, a collection of reminiscences of his guru, and most recently, “Still Here” – which speaks of his spiritual struggles surrounding his 1996 stroke – and as a peripatetic lecturer, he has embodied perhaps one of the West’s best conceptual bridges to understanding Eastern thought and ways of being.
In the process, continually and more explicitly as time went on, he reported the truth of his experience with an honesty that left him with nowhere to hide. That is exactly the way he wanted it.
So as I noticed others around me exhibiting what I interpreted as deferential behavior, I wondered – since, after all, most know him only at a distance through mass gatherings – what is it like to be the center of such reverential focus? And how does he, who spent a good chunk of his life being the one with nothing to hide, handle it?
Naturally, I didn’t ask at that time. But I did want to connect. I was lucky; I happened to have finished assembling a portfolio of my photo images that very morning. So, in a small void between visitors, I sat down next to him and invited him to leaf through the portfolio and pick a picture for himself, if he liked one.
Just so there’s no illusion, clearly, it was a bribe so I’d get to spend time with him.
For about 10 minutes we sat there, small comments passing back and forth; just little curiosities, nothing about nothing, really. He chose an image, I gave it to him, thanked him for his life, and went on to watch the video, glancing over my shoulder now and again to see how he responded to himself.
Actually, that’s not quite accurate. I began by asking permission to show him my work and then babbled on for what had to be a full minute on why I could accept him as Teacher. It was because of a time, pretty much at the peak of his guruship (for want of a better word), that he gathered his key followers together and instructed them to get on with their lives and quit following him because he didn’t know anything.
I was being double the kiss-ass of anyone I observed. I just had a prop, an excuse, and a slightly more open window of time to interpose words. And then, in my illusion, I convinced myself that I was meeting him as an equal.
Once a month there is a gathering of people that centers around Ram Dass at a private location here on Maui. I began going. It includes Kirtan (yoga chants), music, sometimes poetry, a short talk by Ram Dass, and a potluck feast.
Each time I’d go, I’d manage to spend a little time with him. I noticed a few key people who attended to him. They all maintained an attentive distance. I asked if he had anyone to talk to about some of the deeper conflicts surrounding his stroke. Since I had been a paramedic for 12 years, of course I would be just the person to talk with if it ever came up. I made sure he knew that.
He declined.
Another time, I just hovered nearby while he, balancing a plate of food on one leg, braced by his stroked arm within the confines of the wheelchair arms, spoke with one after another of people on line to be with him. This after a good 2½ hours of singing and chanting. In my view, he was clearly pretty tired and needed respite and some food, and when the plate was brought to him, I expected the people in the room to give him a bit of a pause while he refreshed. They didn’t.
Since I “knew” what he needed, I wanted to intervene. But I didn’t. I just watched. What I kept noticing was, there would be a break between people, he’d pick up a fork and begin to eat, and then, someone else would come up. He’d graciously put his fork down, stop eating and converse. This repeated itself time and again.
At one point, noticing that he hadn’t drunk anything, I found his glass of water on the floor out of his reach. In a pause, I picked it up, handed it to him and went back to my position as a sort of silent guardian. He took a few sips, and put the glass down on the empty chair next to him. Sure enough, someone came up, took the glass off the chair, put it down out of reach, sat down on the chair and began talking.
Somehow, I got the idea people didn’t see him for who he is – a man who had a stroke and by no means had the stamina they assumed. I felt protective. My curiosity and arrogance grew. I was feeling astonished that I seemed to be the only one in the room who was truly looking out for him.
Later on that week, I decided – using this magazine (Voice of Choices) as a cloak of legitimacy – I could ask him for an interview. So I put together a couple of samples of the magazine and included the questions I was really curious about:
Are you still pissing people off and are those around you bold enough to challenge you when you do it?
Have you been actively setting new limits and boundaries on how you wish to be treated by others since you’ve been stroked, or is it more in the realm of an acceptance thing for you?
Do you ever feel the loneliness of not being seen for who you really are?
May as well ask, then… who are you, really?
What is it that people are asking of you today that they weren’t asking of you pre-stroke?
I hand-delivered the package to his home. The next Kirtan, I could not just relax and be myself around him. I had an agenda driving me. Very off balance, I found myself waiting on line to see him, dropping out of it to get centered, getting back on again, and then stepping away when I saw his food come.
A couple of times, after someone moved his glass out of range again, I moved it back to within his reach and then stepped away while he ate. At one point, he motioned me to come over.
I reintroduced myself to him, assuming he might not remember who I was – falsely – and without any subtlety or restraint, just blurted out, “Did you get the package I left you?”
He nodded yes, and went back to his food as the room of about 50 people chanted and sang. Being in his presence, finally, I relaxed and just sat with him, silent. Content. After all, I was getting to hang out with a legend of my time.
At first becalmed, it didn’t take me long to get fidgety because I had that agenda going. Right at the point of the music and voices coming to a very enthralling crescendo, when it looked like he was entering another phase of ecstasy, I clumsily leaned over.
I saw I had broken his flow, but, still, he leaned over to meet me. Putting my mouth close to his ear and speaking out loudly, as if he were deaf, I asked, “Could I have the interview?”
At first, he looked up at me with a glint of, not anger, but more like annoyance like at that pesky mosquito. Then, he took in a breath, sat back in his chair and, motioning me to sit back in mine next to him, swept his hand lovingly over the scene of people, hearts and souls a-singing.
Smiling at me, Ram Dass said these words: “This is it!”
I sat back and settled into the space that I was part of. For what had to have been a full minute, I swear, I just sat there with him, empty. I may have even been breathing.
Then, remembering the business at hand, I leaned over close to his ear, and with much more subtlety in my voice this time, and maybe even a little softer, I asked him: “Can I quote you on that?”
He wrapped his arm around me and, embracing me close and pulsating, he laughed.
It was then that I realized I hadn’t really met Ram Dass,
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